Our three-year-old has been obsessed with the Lion King (or “Kinga Lion” as he calls it) which means hubby and I have been watching the movie at least a few times a week now. And not only did the movie have me boohooing due to my perimenopause symptoms as well as the fact that the score is amazingly sad and of course, Mufasa’s death scene, but it has me evaluating my life and the choices I made. Namely, because I feel that Scar is an important character to dissect.
Here is a secret that people only close to me know: I don’t speak to one of my sisters. In fact, I’ve been estranged from her for years. I’m not proud of this fact. I am proud, however, that I made a very hard decision based on accepting her for who she is. Yes, she’s my sister, but just like Scar, she’s not someone who should be close to me. What is more tragic to me in the Lion King than Mufasa’s death is that with all of his wisdom, he didn’t know enough that his own brother was plotting his demise and his beloved son’s. Sadly, I’ve accepted this fact about my sister, and that’s why she is not in my life. Here is why that’s a good thing:
- Scar led Simba down a path of destruction and tragedy. My sister’s own fertility challenges have affected her ability to embrace both of my sons. In fact, she has never really met them. That is not due to me, but due to her. And to be honest: I’m fine with this. I intend to make sure my sons do not interact with her because there would be no tragedy in the Lion King if Scar was dealt with appropriately.
- Certain people have no desire or ability to change. There was no remorse from Scar when he killed Mufasa. And there was absolutely none when Simba confronted Scar on this fact. And in the case of my sister: that holds true to this day.
- Getting pregnant at an older age is hard enough. Life is hard, pregnancy at an older age is hard, and it’s best you keep your circle tight with individuals who will cheer you on and not try to bring you down. Enough said.
- Scar not only killed Mufasa but traumatized Simba. Now that I have my own children I want to protect them from those who don’t have their best interests in mind. It doesn’t mean those people out of my circle are evil or bad, they just don’t work in my life. Acceptance and knowing who you are dealing with is paramount.
I’ve always gotten mixed reactions when I share this fact about my sister and my choice not to have her in my life. But the truth is, toxic family members are hard to endure and my life is simply better with her out of it!