I’ve always had an emotional relationship with food. Drinking and drugs, not at all. But food was definitely a way for me to lose myself. Now that I’m a mama and wife, I’m noticing my moods and state of mind more. It reflects back to me (versus when I was single) when I lose my temper with my kids or am short or snappy with my hubby. And I don’t like how the food I’ve been eating for so long has made me feel.
I gained a ton of weight while breastfeeding and pumping for my second son, as it created an insatiable urge for sweets and white-flour-based products. I’ve been working with a naturopath to get these body issues and weight gain under control and we discovered through blood work and hormone tests that 1) my hormones are way out of synch 2) I’m insulin resistant and prediabetic 3) my body is showing signs of a ton of inflammation.
My naturopath has not given me any type of food plan, but has (gently) suggested I would do well on a gluten-free and less fast food and refined sugar diet. I’ve here and there been able to abstain from fast food or sugar for a while, but the last few months, my sugar consumption has been unmanageable. I use it to deal with stress, uncomfortable feelings, etc. For example, last week I waited with bated breath for a gift of cookies from my job to mark Employee Appreciation Day, then for my son’s classmate’s birthday party where s’mores was on the menu. And lately, nothing that sugary is tasting that good anymore. I keep chasing a high that no longer is there, or requires more and more sugar to manage my fix. But because this has really been the only joy in my life and the only thing I’ve looked forward to in so long, I wouldn’t give it up! I’ve lately used any trips to the pharmacy to load up on Hostess cakes, chocolate candy, and ice cream chocolate bars. I don’t like how 1) out of control I feel 2) it affects my mood and outlook on life in a horrible way 3) sugar and flour have caused brain fog and difficulties waking up in the morning.
I decided to Google sugar addiction and it’s a very real thing because all of that processed food is engineered to make us addicted to it! I also started to read some books to address sugar addiction and one of them I read cover to cover was “Breaking Up with Sugar: Divorce the Diets, Drop the Pounds, and Live Your Best Life” by Molly Carmel. I’m right now on Day 7 of 66 days of no sugar/no flour. The idea is that by getting past the addiction and the cravings (and not feeding it because as soon as you introduce sugar/flour, your body goes haywire and wants more and more!) I can find a way of eating that is not only sustainable, but it is in line with the goals I have for my life.
It’s not been easy, in fact, it’s likely been one of the most difficult challenges I’ve ever endured. But I keep focusing on the life I want to have, with the body, mind, and spirit I yearn for. And I know this sugar and flour-induced coma is not it!
As a forever foodie, I’ve been in denial about this for a long long time. I have embraced the #HAES and intuitive eating ethos, but the problem is, none of those approaches has helped me feel happier and better in my body. So I’m hoping that I can finally get to the other side of my addiction and live in a way that makes me look forward to life and all its gifts and not just get giddy about food and sugary treats. If anyone is curious, I will continue to update through blog posts and reels.
Here’s to #Day7!